Ok- I know it's been months. I could write about lots of things, but going to stick with this one for today.
As many of you know, we are trying to sell our house. We found a big beautiful lot here in Santaquin that I really want, so we are taking the plunge after much thought and prayer- building a new house and selling the old. Now I've got to tell ya, I honestly thought we'd put our house up for sale and sell it right away. After all, I love this house. I love the area, my yard that we've put lots of work into, and our great play place in the basement. Who wouldn't like it? Why wouldn't it sell fast? (Not saying there isn't room for improvement here, but we love our house)
Ok- so I was humbled. We put our house up for sale, and.... nothing, nada, no one called- except realtors wanting to sell our house, and people wanting to rent. No action, so I put forth more effort into it, putting it on MSL, advertising on all the house sites, facebook, and even planning 2 group open houses with 12-14 other homes for sale in Santaquin. And, just recently, listing with a realtor who promised results- ha. (Oh, and of course lots of prayers.)
After months of effort and no results it gets a little frustrating. It's been hard for me to be positive, even though I know deep down that things will work out. When I see people put their homes up for sale and they sell in a week, I think, "What the...? What's wrong with us? What am I doing wrong? Why don't my prayers get answered?". I've gotten this dejavu of the feelings I had on my mission. While the mission was the best thing I ever did, I had 18 months of rejection- tons of rejection, I can't even tell you how much rejection. I remember praying and praying there in beautiful northern Spain wondering what was wrong with me. Do I not have enough faith? Am I a bad missionary? Is this rejection personal? (I tried to tell myself over and over that it wasn't personal). Imagine me standing here with my fingers making an L on my forehead.
Yesterday was one of those discouraging days. I had a hard time shaking my sad feelings from rejection- feelings of self doubt, nobody likes me, pity potty... So, after my prayers last night, I laid in bed thinking about the many times of rejection in my life; rejection in high school, rejection when looking for jobs, rejection from principals in my college and teaching years, huge rejection on the mission, rejection in selling the house... (like I said, pity potty- I really know I have a wonderful life). But, as I was laying there depressed, a thought that didn't come from me came in to my mind: "Jesus Christ was rejected by his own".
What a blessing and a tender mercy that gave me peace. Christ who is perfect, wonderful, the best, most charitable person who ever lived, got rejected, so much rejection that he was crucified. He knows how I feel, how everyone feels and has experienced much more pain than us all. So, although I already knew this, I was reminded that rejection doesn't mean you are in the wrong or that something is wrong with you. Rejection means people are exercising their God given free will.
3 months ago