By Their Fruits Ye Shall Know Them

 

I've had a scripture come to my mind for several months.  It is Matthew 7:20.  "Wherefore, by their fruits ye shall know them." Christ is teaching the sermon on the mount.  He is teaching a way to discern truth from error.  The fruits of a tree tell us if the tree is good.  Not only have I seen and felt the fruits of the gospel in my own life,  but I have now seen them in the life of my son Andrew.

Andrew was very hesitant to serve a mission.  He was a homebody, had quite a bit of social anxiety, and was frankly just happy to stay home all day and program, write, or compose music.  He thought he was happy spending his time this way, but I would say he was comfortable.  So many times we equate comfort with happiness, but that really isn't accuarate.  I would say he wasn't happy.  

After Andrew got set apart as a missionary he surprised me.  I thought he would kind of wade into the missionfield gradually, first with his feet, then up to his knees... (speaking from experience, you can't really wade into the missionfield, you end up just getting dunked).  But Andrew surprised me.  He dove right in- head first.  He decided to be all in-  100% in the mission, 100% in the gospel. And the result has been amazing and obvious.

My very hesitant and anxious child is visiting people, calling people, texting people, driving in Anaheim (What?! He was so afraid of driving), studying, and serving every day.  We get to talk with him every week.  I have never seen him happier.  He is so happy, positive, calm, caring, and confident.  Now THAT is good fruit, a sign of a good tree, a sign of truth.  Andrew is truly living the gospel and it is changing him; Christ is changing him.  I think one of the greatest evidences of the truthfulness of the gospel is the effect it has upon those who live it.  And I don't mean people pretending to live it or those just putting their toes in.  I mean those who really live it wholeheartedly, who are submerged in it... like the missionaries who are on their feet serving the Lord.

So, my blessing of the day?  of the past 7 months?  I get to see my child truly come to know Christ as he helps others come to know Christ.  Gosh!!! A mom can't ask for more than that.  I am so blessed.   We all need to just dive in, then we will really experience the fruits of the gospel in our lives.

The Law of Sacrifice

 

I remember my dad telling us growing up that anything of worth requires sacrifice.  And, after years of experience, I have found that to be true.  The things in my life with most value have taken the most sacrifice: motherhood, marriage, education, my mission...  It's like it is a law of nature that applys to all of us: You (or someone else) must make a sacrifice to have something of more value.  When I think of the things I value most, sacrifice isn't the primary word that comes to mind because the value of what I have far exceeds the sacrifice.

Yesterday, we dropped Andrew off to the MTC to begin his mission to Anaheim, California.  Right now I'm really feeling the sacrifice.  Moms love their kids like nothing else.  Andrew's a homebody, and I've spent a lot of time with him over the years.  He's been my little buddy for 19 years.  We have talked about just about everything together and had many experiences together.  Our family will miss him a lot.  But, I know if I'm feeling the sacrifice so deeply, this is of great worth. Plus, I know it because I've done it.  The mission is a time of my life that has great value.  It has shaped the way I think and choices I have made since then.  It is of great worth, because the gospel of Jesus Christ is of great worth, more than we know.  Joseph Smith said, "a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.”  How true, and he would know!

Sacrifice brings about faith (and requires faith), gratitude, knowledge, and blessings that outweigh the sacrifice. It helps us become more like Christ. God has asked us to obey the law of sacrifice.  Even He obeys the law of sacrifice.  He sacrificed his son for the benefit of all of us.  It was the greatest of all sacrifices.  The value of His sacrifice is the greatest of all- It leads to eternal life. God has asked us to make the sacrifice of a broken heart and contrite spirit, basically to be humble and willing to do what he asks (which means a whole bunch of little sacrifices over and over again).  Well, I'm doing it now.  I don't always, but today I am.

I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  It is of the most worth for me now, and will be after this life.  If you who are reading this have beefs with the church, criticle questions over controversial issues, doubts and concerns about the gospel, I reccommend searching those topics on fairlatterdaysaints.org.  But the truth is, feeling the real value and testimony comes from making the sacrifice: studying the words of the prophets, praying, keeping commandments, serving the Lord.   I know it's true, and so does Andrew.  He will come to know it more over the next 2 years.

So, how have I recognized the hand of the Lord in my life?  I recognize the blessings that come from obeying the law of sacrifice.  Making the effort to have a broken heart and contrite spirit is worth it, and the Lord will support us and be with us because of it.

25 Lessons learned as a Relief Society President

This past month our wards got rearranged and I got released from my calling as a relief society president.  I feel so happy, light, and relieved and at the same time kind of sad.  I've reflected a lot on my experiences, both good and bad, and made a list of what I've learned from them.  The main lesson I've learned is that the Lord is with those who are making an effort to do his work.  Hopefully I will take the time to write down stories that go with all these lessons.  Here's my list :

1.  "When you are on the Lord’s errand, you are entitled to His help." Thomas Monson

2.  Satan is always in opposition to God’s work- anxiety, fear, doubts, and criticism from others

3.  Never call, text, email or visit someone when you are angry.  Take time to respond and respond by focusing on principles, not people or character traits.

4.  Self-reliance is taking responsibility for yourself and your family in all aspects of your life.  Blaming others is not self-reliance.  Blaming God is not being spiritually self-reliant.  Expecting God to tell you EVERYTHING is not being spiritually self-reliant.  Expecting someone else to solve your problems or to reach out to you is not being self-reliant.  Self-reliance is the goal: a truly self-reliant person is able to help others on their quest to become self-reliant-  spiritually, emotionally, financially…

5.  Charity is withholding judgment.

6.  Sometimes charity is not rushing to someone’s aid, but counseling with them in love and helping them realize that the power is in them to solve their own problem.

7.  Ministering- 1.  The Lord is concerned about our spiritual wellbeing.  2.  We need each other.  3.  The Lord loves His daughters.

8.  Revelation is scattered among us.  Counseling with others is well worth it.

9.  Other people have nothing to do with my own salvation.

10.  Our enemy and competition are not with each other.  Our battle is against sin and Satan.  We have a common enemy, goals, and purpose in life; it can bring unity and power.  The only competition is with ourselves- to become a little better each day.

11.  The Lord wants us to love and help the refugees and the poor.

12.  One of the greatest gifts is the gift of revelation.  Revelation takes work- study, prayer, and action of faith.  Revelation most often comes after taking steps of faith.  If we want to call down the powers of heaven we need to do the Lord’s work and will in conjunction with study and prayer.

13.  Relief society presidents need to be emotionally stable and have a solid testimony.

14.  Every generation has their call, just as the pioneers did.  One of our great calls in this generation is to do family history and temple work.  Our families need it for our own spiritual strength in the last days.

15.  “Love is making space in your life for someone else.” Sis Marriott

16.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the greatest organization on the earth.  The Relief Society is the greatest women's organization.  The inner workings of the church (ministering, temple, revelation, repentance, welfare, addiction recovery, counseling…) are full of light and hope and are awesome!

17.  It is ok and good to focus on and use your strengths.  Don’t always focus on your weaknesses.

18.  Wisdom is being able to see things as they really are.

19.  “You know when someone is ready to change when they stop blaming others”  Gina (my counselor)

20.  Don’t let opposition get in your way of doing the Lord’s work, push it aside with faith.

21.  It’s usually best to assess a situation in person- listen and gather information- before making decisions.  Then do what you feel the Lord wants you to do, not necessarily what someone else wants you to do.

22.  In ministering interviews, focus on who is being ministered to.  Help the person ministering to look outward, not inward and how convenient or inconvenient this will be.

23.  How to deal with toxic personalities: 1- Avoid contact with them as much as possible.  2- Always remain professional and keep communication short- respond like a rock with not much to say.  Respond with “thanks for letting me know”. 3-  Avoid speaking to them alone. 4- You most likely cannot help them; they need to be willing to help themselves and to get professional help. 5- Don’t let their poison in to affect your happiness.

24.  Progress won’t happen without humility and obedience.

25.  The Holy Ghost testifies of truth, sometimes just for your own knowledge to show God is listening and cares about you.  Tender mercies of the Lord are real and come to those who are doing His work.

Tender Mercies

Today I'm grateful for tender mercies of the Lord.  Just to clarify what tender mercies of the Lord are, here is a quote from Elder Bednar:

 "Tender mercies are... the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ... The tender mercies of the Lord are real and do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence.  Often, the Lord's timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."

I searched the scriptures for the phrase "tender mercies" and found it is there over 50 times.  I think that would be a good topic to study.

Anyway, I have found that many of my blessings or things that I have written about are tender mercies that come just when I need them.  A couple of weeks ago I spent many hours doing relief society work- making visiting teaching changes, visiting people, helping people out, going door to door for friends of scouts (not a RS thing, but ended up having to do it).  One of these busy days I helped a lady out with her kids and missed Sara's tennis game.  The lady was in a real bind and had lots of problems so I knew I needed to help her out.  I went to pick Sara up late and there she was in the empty parking lot with the mom of a girl and the tennis coach waiting for me.  I felt so bad, just so sad that I had put others before my own daughter who I love far more than any sister in the ward.  She went on to tell me how good she had done in her games that day... and I was so sorry that I didn't get to be there for her and even worse that I couldn't even pick her up on time. 

That evening I had to do the friends of scouts thing, and earlier that day I had a few complaints from people about visiting teaching. It was just a hard day for me.  A day where I thought, "What am I doing?"  "Why am I doing this?" "I'm not making a difference in anyone's life, and I'm just hurting the lives that I love the most."

Now, really I spend a lot of time with my kids and family.  They have just had to sacrifice a little with me in this calling.  They are fine and often they get opportunities to serve with me.  I just felt a load and sadness that particular day.

Well, that night I got some tender mercies.  My new counselor went with me to go door to door asking for friends of scouts donations with me, which she didn't have to do.  When we were finished around 8:30 that night, she said she wanted to thank me for giving her this calling (even though it was God that gave her the calling) and how it has initiated a great change for good in her life.  She's such a kind giving person.  Then I went into the house and there was a plate of cookies from another sister in the ward, and a vase of flowers from another sister in the ward.  It was as if the God was saying to me, "I'm aware of you, love you, and accept your effort."  Oh, I cried and was just so grateful for the sweet women in my life and that God is watching over me.

I believe tender mercies come into our lives as we act on our faith.  We may not recognize our blessings as being from the Lord, but I think they most often are.  I'm grateful for my calling that stretches me so much, so much that I think I get extra tender mercies.  And, I'm grateful for my wonderful family who supports me.  I sure love them.

Tender Mercies

Will Will

Today I'm grateful for Will Will.  A couple of weeks ago I had one of those days where I felt underappreciated.  You know, people not showing up for appointments that I had set up, appointments that I had really prepared for and put myself out to go to... you know, grrr.   So, that day I said (quietly) to my ward, "Y'all go eat rocks!  I'm going to go spend my time with someone who loves me and with someone who I can actually make a difference with."  So I put all my RS stuff aside that I was planning for the day and spent it with Will. We played with puzzles, read books, did lincoln logs... so nice.  Will is my happy, friendly and funny buddy.   He goes on visits with me, hangs out with me, talks about fish and minecraft, and loves me no matter what (he doesn't always like me though, hehe).  I'm so glad I have such a pleasant kid to keep me company.  It will be sad to have him in school next year.

Here's a cute story about Will.  We had a family night about President Uchdorf's talk about the umbrella.  Basically it's about how God is always showering blessings upon us and we are the ones who put up our umbrella to block the blessings.  I made little rain drops that had blessing written on them and we had situations where we had to decide if the situation was putting up our umbrella or letting it down.  We took turns with the umbrella and with showering blessings on each other's heads.  Will and Mac thought this was great.  Mac understood the lesson, Will didn't really.  So one day Will and I were visiting an elderly sister in our ward.  As we got up to leave we noticed it was starting to rain.  Will yelled, "Blessings!  It's raining blessings!" And we walked out into the falling blessings.  Another day when it was raining he said it again, "Blessings!  Can I go out and get blessings?"  So he did.  He's my little blessing.  I love Will Will.  He's so nice to have around, especially when I get down.

I posted a video clip from Uchdorf's talk

Shower of Heavenly Blessings

Blessings of 2016

So, should I just write in this once a year?  I'm such a slacker.  But... since the year is over, I should document some ways I've seen the hand of the Lord in my life this past year.

January 2016- Went to the temple for the first time for my own family- already documented.  This was also the month that I found Baldwin Morris and Eleanor Richardson Morris's parents' names.  I say I found them, but it really wasn't me.  Heidi went to Nauvoo, brought back family records, and they were on the Nauvoo baptism temple records.  I'm fairly certain I've found a bunch of the Richardson family, but have no direct proof- yet.  It has been pretty exciting, because I can only imagine how many descendants have searched for these people.  I'm sure I will find more info about them with time.

February 2016- Went to roots tech- our favorite class was taught by Wendy Nelson and Sheri Dew- super great women.  Andy and Sara went too and learned how to find cousins on family search. When we came home Andrew wanted to try and find names.  I was a little nervous and explained that sometimes it isn't as quick and easy as the guy teaching the class made it seem.  I didn't want him to try a little and give up, which is what he tends to do.  We found a family within 1/2 hr... a family with more info about their lives than you usually get.  I was surprised and Andrew said, "I'm not surprised, Wendy Nelson said if they are ready they will be easy to find."  There you go, they were ready and we've had fun doing the work for them.

March 2016- I don't remember.  This is the problem of only writing once a year.

April 2016- We went to St. George for spring break.  My parents are always a blessing to me.  We are so happy to have them home.

May 2016- once again- who knows?

June- August 2016- being with the family for summer.  We went to Bear Lake with the Burnahs and the Porters, missed grandma Bobby and grandpa Art, went to the cabin, went to Yellowstone with my parents and Heidi- beautiful and amazing place!  And the biggest challenge and blessing for me this year was that I got called to be RS president.

 I will have to write more posts about that one.  You think of a RS president as someone who has it all together, no fear, always knows what to say, confident, the appearance of perfection... but that's not me.  This has been the most humbling calling I've had since my mission.  But, it has caused me to rely on the Lord like I never have before in a calling (besides the mission).  I need His help sooo bad.  I feel like all my weaknesses are out on display.  Really, God must have a sense of humor.  I can only imagine how entertaining it is to see me squirm.  It's like he was thinking, 'Who would be the MOST uncomfortable doing this, but will say yes?  Oh, yeah, Holly Burnah- this will be so funny.'  Its a heavy duty calling which comes with a huge weight on the shoulders.  This is not a calling for the weak, haha, which is my problem.   I've always thought of every calling as equal, of equal importance, and they are, but they are NOT all equal in difficulty and time.  I feel like I'm going through a refiners fire big time.  I deal with lots of people (women, in particular- which can be wonderful or super frustrating) with lots of serious issues.  I have to be in charge, in front of people (I hate attention so bad), feel the judgments of others, and get a lot of assignments and promptings that I don't want to do.  The struggle is real.  I feel like I'm in a constant battle to overcome my weaknesses (especially my fear of man) to do this the way the Lord wants.  Plus, I, on many occasions, lose sleep over worries and ideas.   So, that's the gist of the difficulty of it; I could give many specific examples.  I actually could go on a ranting rampage complaining, but... there are also HUGE blessings to it that  I can't deny and that I'm so grateful for.

Blessings- I study the scriptures and gospel way more and better than I did before, I pray more, and I'm guided more.  I have the opportunity to serve- a lot!  I am becoming less judgmental and realize my blessings more.  God helps me.  So many times I've been stuck not knowing what to do, how to help, without help that I need... and then the help comes; a tender mercy.  "When we are on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to his help" -Thomas S. Monson.  And, holy smokes, its true!  I'm getting to know lots of good people. My councilors are super helpful and wonderful.  Tavish has stepped it up when it comes to the family.  He's always stepped it up, but he's helped take care of the kids even more and fully supported me.  How hard would this be without his support?  The kids have supported me too.  We have had an increase of spirituality in our home, which is a blessing for us all.

Ok, so now on to one more blessing to our family this year- Grandpa and Grandma serving a mission.  As much as we hate to have them gone, we are blessed and so are they.  Their letters are uplifting and entertaining.  What a great example they are to our kids.  They love to hear from them and write them letters.  Missionary families are blessed.  Ya Hoo!

There ya go- from a slacker trying to recognize the had of the Lord in her life

Catchin up

 I've been terrible at keeping up with this.  So, here is a catch up on some blessings that I've had since I last wrote.

1.  My parents came home safely from their mission.  This is a huge blessing.  We missed them so much.  I love having them home, and they are good for the kids.

2.  Andrew got the priesthood the weekend we moved.  Both sets of grandparents were able to come.

3.  We sold our house, finally, and moved into our new one.  We had a family actually offer to buy the house and let us rent until we were ready to move into the new house.  I can't tell you what a blessing that was.  Our new home is beautiful and in a beautiful place next to the mountains.

4. Tavish's parents got their mission call to Montreal, Canada.  Ok, I'm not going to lie- I'm not excited for them to leave.  I feel like we've been there done that with my parents and don't want to do it again.  But... I know they will bless many lives and we can sacrifice and share them with the people of Canada.  They were planning on going to Tahiti because the mission president there requested them, but were called instead to Montreal.  I'm so happy.  I was really worried about them clear in Tahiti, especially Grandma Bobby.  I think the Lord is taking care of them.

5.  Tavish and I got callings to be family history consultants.  I'm sure God knew that we needed a calling to get us to do what we should have been doing already.  I LOVE my new calling.  We have become addicted.  And, for the first time ever we did family baptisms with our parents and Andrew.  Tell me, what is better than that?  Last night we went to the new Payson temple with Tavish's parents and did 16 boy baptisms and 17 girl baptisms.  The weather was awful and the baptistery was practically empty.  It was so peaceful and nice.  We love the new temple.  We love our new calling too!

There you go, there's a brief catch up on a few things.  I could write lots more, but this will have to do for now.  I will try to be better this next year :),

Superhero Grandpa Dale

Last week we got a scary letter from my mom.  She told of an experience my dad had. I think I'm just going to copy it here:

Dear kids I wanted to tell you something that happened to your dad yesterday afternoon. Don't worry all turned out well but here is the story. It is almost unbelievable. Your dad stopped at a red light coming home from paying a bill. He was in his car. His doors were unlocked and a juvenile about 16 or 17 climbed into the back seat and put a gun to your dad's head and made him drive to a place that was a little rough. He gave him his money and his GPS and His phone. Take the stuff and go but he did not. He climbed into the front seat and put the gun to dad's head and said there is one bullet in this gun lets shoot it and see if the one will come up and kill you. So the boy calked it and shot but click then he did it again and Dad decided when he heard the click again he was going to fight. Well he pulled the trigger again and click. Dad grabbed his hand that had the gun and pinned the boy's arm with the gun so he could not use it. He held the boy's arm for a long time. The boy kicked and they had quite a tussle. The boy broke the front window and cut his knee a bit but dad still held him. He finally dropped the gun and dad picked it up. The boy yelled it has no bullets. He was screaming the whole time they were fighting. Dad was stronger. They both got out of the car. While they were struggling dad called out to the people around call the police but they just all went into their houses. One car pulled up and looked inside and smiled and went on his way. One woman finally called. The boy got out of the car and wanted his gun back. Dad said no way and the boy picked up a big rock which he could barely hold and said he was going to bash his head in. The police came around the corner he saw them and turned to run and then there was another police car on the other side. They subdued him and took him in. Dad spent 4 hours filling out papers at the police office. He has to go to court on February 25th. The boy said no one is going to help you here and he was right. I think the neighbors all knew him. but thank goodness one lady had the guts to call and she then warned the boy to get out and not hurt dad or things would go bad for him. She told him the police were on their way. but he wanted the gun back so bad that he didn't heed her. Dad said there were about 10 police there. four surrounded the boy and the others kept an eye out for neighbors who might be give them trouble.  So that is most of the story. He kept saying he was going to kill dad. Dad said he was not scared he said it seemed like a dream. He was calm. The robber didn't like that so he tried to scare him other ways. Dad has a little mark on his cheek because of the fight but it is hardly noticeable. I told heavenly father I would not pick at the stupid things that dad did ever again. I am human so I will probably forget and be annoyed again but for now the whole situation scared me and made me realize how much I loved your dad. I think what could of happened and I thank my Heavenly Father for sparing your dad. I just wanted you to know we are both fine and we both feel protected and we feel great. So maybe I should not have written to you all but I think it is better that you do. I know you will see how brave your dad is and he stayed calm the whole time. I think that is what made the kid so mad. It is amazing that such a thing could happen. People get so desperate and this boy was just plain mean. Well I love and miss you all. Your dad truly is a great man with much strength and honor. He just wanted to beat the kid but he restrained himself. I wish I had that much mastery over my self. I just don't and loose it when I get stressed. Well I love you all. Don't worry we are great. I respect your dad a great deal and I am so thrilled that I have him here with me. Take care. I love you all mom

Of course reading this letter was just scary.  I felt so upset and sick to my stomach, followed by lots of anger.  How dare someone try to hurt my dad!  Followed by, My Dad is AWESOME!

 Life is so fragile.  Experiences like this help you remember what is really important in life.  After I read the letter I didn't care about the trivial things, just grateful that my parents are alive and for all they have done for me. My dad always has been an example to us as someone who can remain calm in the most stressful situations.  I have no doubt that the Holy Ghost was guiding him and helping him remain calm.  Our blessing of the week!  They have 2 weeks left, please come home safe!

Share the Gift

This December for a family home evening we decided to Share the Gift.  I liked how the church focused on sharing the first gift of Christmas, which was Christ.  So, since we have plenty of material gifts for Christmas, I figured this was something we all needed to share a bit more of.  Did we do it?  Well, we tried.  I'm only a month late in posting this, but here it is:

Will shared the gift by making people happy.  He's a fun and cheerful little person and makes everyone happy.

Mac wanted to share the gift by giving someone a present, because that makes people happy he says.  Mac loves presents and giving people presents.

Sara wanted to share the gift by reading her scriptures every day because that's what we we're commanded to do.

Andrew wanted to share the gift by loving as Christ loves.  He says because that's what we should do even though it is hard.

I wanted to share the gift by remembering  that everyone is a child of God.  If I remember that, I have more patience and more compassion toward others, even strangers.

This next person wanted to remain anonymous.  He wanted to share the gift by doing unexpected service, which he always does anyway.  He serves so much, it's almost expected of him by a demanding wife :)

Now, I don't post this to say to everyone, "We are awesome, look at all the good things we say we do."  I post this to say, "We were given the best gift ever, why not share it?"  So, those are some of our goals, not just for the holidays but forever.  Whether we do it or not is up to us.   The gift of Christ is definitely the greatest blessing ever.  Merry Christmas! (a month late)

Rejection

Ok- I know it's been months.  I could write about lots of things, but going to stick with this one for today.

As many of you know, we are trying to sell our house.  We found a big beautiful lot here in Santaquin that I really want, so we are taking the plunge after much thought and prayer- building a new house and selling the old.  Now I've got to tell ya, I honestly thought we'd put our house up for sale and sell it right away.  After all, I love this house.  I love the area, my yard that we've put lots of work into, and our great play place in the basement.  Who wouldn't like it? Why wouldn't it sell fast? (Not saying there isn't room for improvement here, but we love our house)

Ok- so I was humbled.  We put our house up for sale, and.... nothing, nada, no one called- except realtors wanting to sell our house, and people wanting to rent.  No action, so I put forth more effort into it, putting it on MSL, advertising on all the house sites, facebook, and even planning 2 group open houses with 12-14 other homes for sale in Santaquin.  And, just recently, listing with a realtor who promised results- ha. (Oh, and of course lots of prayers.)

After months of effort and no results it gets a little frustrating.  It's been hard for me to be positive, even though I know deep down that things will work out.  When I see people put their homes up for sale and they sell in a week, I think, "What the...? What's wrong with us?  What am I doing wrong?  Why don't my prayers get answered?".  I've gotten this dejavu of the feelings I had on my mission.  While the mission was the best thing I ever did, I had 18 months of rejection- tons of rejection, I can't even tell you how much rejection.  I remember praying and praying there in beautiful northern Spain wondering what was wrong with me.  Do I not have enough faith?  Am I a bad missionary?  Is this rejection personal? (I tried to tell myself over and over that it wasn't personal).  Imagine me standing here with my fingers making an L on my forehead.

Yesterday was one of those discouraging days.  I had a hard time shaking my sad feelings from rejection- feelings of self doubt, nobody likes me, pity potty...  So, after my prayers last night, I laid in bed thinking about the many times of rejection in my life; rejection in high school, rejection when looking for jobs, rejection from principals in my college and teaching years, huge rejection on the mission, rejection in selling the house... (like I said, pity potty- I really know I have a wonderful life).  But, as I was laying there depressed, a thought that didn't come from me came in to my mind: "Jesus Christ was rejected by his own".

What a blessing and a tender mercy that gave me peace.  Christ who is perfect, wonderful, the best, most charitable person who ever lived, got rejected, so much rejection that he was crucified.  He knows how I feel, how everyone feels and has experienced much more pain than us all.  So, although I already knew this, I was reminded that rejection doesn't mean you are in the wrong or that something is wrong with you.  Rejection means people are exercising their God given free will.

Missing Mom and Dad

Once again, I've slacked on the blog. This is something I've been meaning to post for a long time.  As most of the few of you that read this know, my parents went on a mission to Chile in September.  When they called with the news where they were going, I tried to sound excited for them.  After I hung up, I just broke down and cried and cried.  Tavish, who doesn't know what to do with a crying wife, quickly ran over to the computer and said, "Its ok, we can visit them!  It's only a 14 hr plane ride and... $1300 per ticket!"  Yeah- not comforting.   I really should be happy about this, and I am happy that they are serving the Lord and having this experience.  But, oh how I miss them.  My brothers and sisters do too.  When people ask me about them and how wonderful it is they are on a mission, I just want to cry, "Waaa!  This is wonderful, but not for me!  I want them here!  I need them!  Waaaaa!"  Hey, I'm just telling you how I really feel here.  So, I may be a wimp, but it's been hard.  Christmas time was especially hard.  We spent a lot of time with Tavish's family, who I love, but just had this aching to be with my family too.  When my sisters in law weren't there because they were with their family, I just wished I could do that too.  I thought, "How lucky you are to go home and see your mom."

Anyway, I'm not going to go on sitting on the pity potty any more here, because I know this is really a blessing, so here it is:

1- I have become more aware and sympathetic of my family and friends that have lost a parent.  I realized at Christmas, that while I have enjoyed being with my family every year, they probably have this aching to be with their parents, and I haven't even thought about it.  I'm a jerk.  And not just Christmas, but birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, and just random times.
2- My children have super great examples of their Grandparents who love the Lord.  They sacrificed being with their most favorite and loved people (the grandkids of course) to share the gospel.  How important it must be to them.
3- My parents are being strengthened- spiritually, emotionally, socially, even physically.  I know I always thought that they were pretty much some of the strongest people I know, but I guess there's always room to grow, no matter how strong or old you are.
4- My parents are helping others, but they've always done that.
5- I feel closer to my brothers and sisters; we all understand how it is to be without them and want to be there for each other.
6- I appreciate and love Mom and Dad even more.

So, Mom and Dad- you are my blessing of the day and always.  Thank you for being such great examples to us.

Summer Miricle

I've been meaning to post this for a while, but you know how I am.  Anyway, we had an incident where we all (the whole Burnah family) recognized the hand of the Lord in our lives.  It goes something like this:

The Burnah family went to the cabin in the Uintahs this summer.  Tavish's grandpa and grandma were there too.  Tavish's grandpa- Grandpa Bay- wanted some work done by the young strapping boys.  (By young, I mean in their 30's.  Grandpa Bay is 87 I believe.)  You have to know Grandpa Bay- he is a great guy who has lots of energy (especially for his age), is a hard worker, and has done many crazy things in his lifetime.  He wanted to cut down some trees up at the cabin.  They were HUGE, I mean HUGE, pine trees that the swing is on.  The trees had gotten a disease and were dying.  He wanted to cut the top halves, that were dead, off to prevent accidents in the future.  Anyway, this meant that the boys would have to use their climbing gear to get way up, and chainsaw the branches and large portions of the trees down. (An alarm is going off in my head right here, and probably yours too, saying, "Don't do it!")

This didn't seem like a good idea to me, but I'm known as being a paranoid one in the Burnah family, so I didn't say anything.  Some of those boys are crazy risk-takers sometimes, my husband included.  But, Tavish wasn't going to climb up there, so I just thought, "Whatever- as long as it's not my husband doing something dangerous high up in a tree".  I just wanted to keep the kids far, far away and not watch what was going on.  Colin and Phil climbed up the tree- with the chainsaw (Again the alarm is going off, "Don't do it!").  Grandpa Bay and the other boys directed from the ground.

They made a bunch of cuts, and huge trees were falling.  It was scary.  Then, they cut one huge part of the tree that fell the wrong way, not the way anticipated.  I was off with the kids, and heard the crack of the tree and then everyone gasp and saw Grandpa Art running toward the tree.  Immediately, panic set in- in all of us.  The tree had fallen right on Colin- way up high in the tree.  It pinned him against the tree he was in and was on his back and shoulders.  I can't begin to tell you the awful feeling this was for all of us- especially his mom.  No one worries more than a mom.  Everyone was so worried, Grandpa Bay even started to climb the tree to get him out, but I'm sure realized he wouldn't be able to help.  We were all praying as they tried to get him out.  Colin wasn't saying much, so we worried that something was seriously wrong.  Phil went up with the chainsaw to cut him out, then we were worried about branches flipping out and hitting him as well.  Phil made some cuts as everyone guided him from the ground, and soon he was free.  Colin climbed down the tree super fast with all limbs in tact. It was surreal.  We were all amazed and relieved.  We had just witnessed  a miracle.

His mom took him to the Dr. to make sure there weren't broken bones or internal problems.  They didn't find anything wrong besides scrapes, but he was really sore for quite a while.

I'm certain we saw the hand of the Lord that day.  If the tree would have fallen just over a few inches,  it could have been much worse.  I'm pretty sure he has a guardian angel (or two), and we're all so grateful he is OK.

Before the accident

It's hard to see, but Colin is there in the tangle of trees.  Phil is in the yellow.

Back to School

Back to school is always a blessing for us.  I love my children very much, but by the end of the summer it's best for all of us if school starts :).  Mac started Kindergarten this year.  I have a hard time sending kids to Kindergarten, but I know it will be so good for him.  He has a wonderful teacher, so I'm not worried.  I've already written how grateful I am for teachers and school in past posts, so- ditto to them.   Here are just a few pictures:

First Day of Kindergarten

First day of 5th grade and 3rd grade.  Will wanted to be in everyone's picture.

Teacher Appreciation Week- last May.  Tavish helped me make the little peanut kids.  I really do appreciate the teachers.

My Good Husband

Today I'm grateful for my sweet Tavish who got up early to put out flags with the scouts for Labor Day, then came home to take care of our sick baby so I could sleep.   Just had to jot it down, because I feel sooo much better after being up with little Will for a few nights.  And... I am sooo grateful for a dedicated, loving, unselfish husband. I hope Will gets better soon and that Tav can get a nap today! :).

No Tooth for the Tooth Fairy

A couple of weeks ago Sara lost a tooth.  She put it in a little baggie and was carrying it around the house for a while.  When it was time for bed, she couldn't find her tooth anywhere.  We all tried to find the tooth- it still hasn't showed up.  Sara was pretty upset.  She decided to write the tooth fairy a note that she lost her tooth.  She put the note under her pillow, and the very generous tooth fairy gave her a dollar even without a tooth, but left a note (written in very tiny, fairy- like handwriting) that said, "You owe me a tooth young lady!"  We were thinking that it would show up so she could offer her tooth another night, but, like I said- it never did.

Anyway, a few days ago Sara lost another tooth- yes she has many gaps in her mouth right now.  She left the tooth and this note under her pillow.  If you can't read it it says, "you don't have to give me eny money for this".  Oh- what a sweet girl.  It was so cute to see that.  I love it when my children are willing to make sacrifices to do what is right- all on their own.  I'm sure that was hard for her to write.   Sweet Sara- she's my blessing of the day. 

PS- The tooth fairy must have liked the note too, because she had compassion on her and still gave her $ for the tooth. 

Catch Up- Sara's baptism

I have a hard time keeping up on this, just like everything else in my life.  Sometimes I see these blogs of stay at home super moms that must have a caffeine drip going through them intravenously.... all day.  They are super organized, wonderful cooks, homeschool their kids (which sounds a little like torture to me), study their scriptures, magnify their callings, keep healthy and fit, and blog about all of it too- with nice pictures because they are photographers also.  What in the world?!  What's my problem?

Anyway, I was considering quitting the blog thing because I must move in slow motion compared to these super women, and have to prioritize my time.  I asked myself, "Is this worth my time?"  I guess you can see that I decided it was- even if I don't do it often.  I figure it may be of some worth to my children and grandchildren someday, and its better reading than my journals (that I don't keep anymore).  So, I'm sticking with it- for now.

A blessing that I need to catch up on and document is Sara's baptism.  She was baptized in January this year.  She's such a sweet, easy-going girl.  Her dad baptized and confirmed her, Grandma Sue gave a talk on the Holy Ghost, and Grandma Bobby gave a prayer.  I'm glad that she didn't ask me to do something, because I just sat there and boobalooed.  It was such a nice day with all of the family.  On Sunday, Sara even bore her testimony.  I was proud of her because she's like her mama- doesn't like the public speaking thing. :)  

So, this is for Sara- I'm so happy for your determination to do what is right, your easy going demeanor,  your patience with your brothers, and I love you!  You are my blessing of the day.

A Flip of the Switch #1

This summer, my Dad's twin sister passed away.  My dad's family has a history of mental illness, and my aunt Diann inherited it, so it was actually a relief when she left, because she is finally free and whole again.

A little history here: My dad's mom had mental issues and couldn't take care of the kids.  She had five kids in five years, the youngest died not long after birth (I think that right there is enough to make any mother go insane).  When she had my dad and Diann, the Riggs family in the ward took them in.  They had many teenage/young adult girls and one boy that helped raise my dad and Diann.

Anyway, at Diann's funeral one of the Riggs girls spoke.  She told of her mom's difficult decision to take the babies in to raise, stories from their childhood... etc.  I never have really heard my dad's stories from this family's perspective; it was interesting.  Then she went on mentioning several of the Porter family's trials- mental illness, the death of their dad and other family members... then she said something like, "There is a crown of glory in store for the Porter family."  And immediately, like a flip of the switch, I thought, "You're the one who will have a crown of glory".  And it came to me how blessed I am because of this family.  I honestly felt like God was saying, "Holly, look how blessed your life is because of them."  I always knew what a blessing they were to my dad, but I guess I didn't think much about how it affected me.

What a sacrifice they made taking in the twins of a dysfunctional family.  Now, as a mom, I can especially recognize what a sacrifice that would be.  Because of them, my dad had opportunities he never would have had without them.  He graduated high school and college,  had a mom write him letters every week on his mission, got a good job,  and actually met my mom through one of the sisters.  I have a wonderful dad and have had a good upbringing.  I'm certain a large part of it is due to the Riggs family.

I recognize the hand of the Lord in my life- he inspired a sweet mother of teenagers to raise my dad.  She will never know how she blessed his family's life.  I am forever grateful to her and her family.

A Flip of the Switch

Recently I watched one of the Mormon Messages by Elder Bednar that got me thinking.  He spoke in a General Conference about revelation.  He said that revelation generally comes in two ways. One way is like a light switch- the light turns on suddenly and the room is  lit.  To me it's like one of those ah-ha moments.  Of course, it could be even more dramatic like visits from angels- which of course I haven't had.   The other, more common way, is like a sunrise.  Gradually bit by bit you see the light.  The 'sunrise' revelation is much more common, but harder to recognize and generally takes more time.  Anyway, one of the things I was going to post about from this summer was one of those flip-of-the-light switch revelations.  And since those flip-of-the-switch revelations don't happen too often to me, I thought I should document it.  Who knows, maybe while I'm at it I'll document a few more of those flips of the light switches from the past that I've never written down.  Of course, you all know how good I am at keeping up this blog, so no promises.

http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/mormon-messages?lang=eng&id=2012-01-012-patterns-of-light-spirit-of-revelation#2012-01-012-patterns-of-light-spirit-of-revelation 

Life with kids is never dull

The more time passes, the more I don't want to write on my blog, because I'm too far behind.  But then I thought- Hey it doesn't have to be something  spectacular- right?  I have many things I'd like to post from the past few months, but today I'll start simple.

Today I'm grateful for my kids and the entertainment they provide.  I'm not the most exciting person in the world, so I'm glad I have my husband and kids to liven things up.  For example:

Andrew and Sara were discussing the hauntings in Santaquin.  Their conversation in the car went something like this:
Andrew: Family Tree is haunted.
Sara: Our school is too.
Andrew:  Yea, someone said they saw a Kleenex floating in the air.
Sara: I saw a ghost once in our house- out of the corner of my eye.  She was reading our books.
Andrew (seriously contemplating):  Hmm...  It must have been an angel that was off task.  The angel that is supposed to be guarding you got off task reading our books.

Ha ha- I hope our guardian angels don't get off task when we really need them!

Mac has been the one who has kept me on my toes the most though (besides the baby that wants constant attention- day and night):

One day I walked into the bathroom and caught him peeing in the garbage can.  He looked at me with a guilty look  of  "I've been caught".  I gasped, "What are you doing?!"  "Do you want a red hand print on that bare bum of yours?!"  and he said giggling, "Yea!" so... that's what he got.  He looked at me in shock like that wasn't the red hand print he was expecting.  Not sure what he was thinking he was going to get.   No wonder my bathrooms had been smelling like pee.

Mac also decided to put small legos up his nose too.  Why?  I'm not sure.  I heard screaming, "Mom, get the lego out of my nose!"  We had the tweezers, blowed... for quite a while.  Finally I held down one nostril and told him to blow really hard... and it shot out.  Good- I didn't want to go to the doctor.

He decided to dump out all of the salt and pepper out of the shakers the other day- all over the table and my laptop- luckily it was shut.

He colored on our carpet and window sills downstairs.

Just yesterday he told me that he saw elves watching him.  Yes, it was wonderful!  He tried so hard to obey and help out.  But apparently the elves left, because he decided to throw rocks at our basement window and broke one.  Then he told me that Andrew taught him that... I said, "No he didn't".  Then he said Sara taught him that.  "No she didn't"  Then he said Will taught him that.  Ha ha.  Then he went up stairs and grabbed  one of the No David books and showed me that he did what David did in the book.  Ya- I told him that that book was about David being naughty not nice.  I'm not sure if Mac will make it on the nice list this year.

When I call to Mac from another room, "What are you doing?" and it's something naughty he says, "Don't look at me Mom"--which he just did as I'm writing this, so I better finish this up.

Someday I'm going to look back on these experiences and think they are sooo funny- especially when my grandkids are doing the same thing!

All of that said (and much more that wasn't said), I love my kids.  They are my blessings with creative minds and strong personalities.  There is never a dull moment in our house.

Mac put this sticker on cute little Will.  Will must never be left alone with his brother.